


Ode To Kise

by Nitroid



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11447100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitroid/pseuds/Nitroid
Summary: The Generation of Miracles attempt to woo Kise with love letters.





	Ode To Kise

> “You’re even more beautiful than anyone in this universe, shining brighter than the sun.” Akashi began, fiddling with his crumply notepaper, fished right out of his blazer pocket.
> 
> “Sounds like a line from a corny ass song.” Aomine groused from where he was seated beside Murasakibara.
> 
> “You make me sick, Akashi.” Midorima declared from his spot beside Aomine. “Make someone else sick for a change.”
> 
> With a small defeated sigh, Akashi continued bravely. “You are sweeter than the sweetest nectar of the most beautiful flower–”
> 
> “Lamer than my ass on a hot summer’s day.” Aomine reached over and snatched the paper from the redhead’s hands, promptly spat the gum he’d been chewing onto it, and crumpled it before tossing the wad to Akashi. “Quit referring to this shit.”
> 
> “Rude.” Akashi scoffed.
> 
> Pushing his glasses up his nose, Midorima cleared his throat to make himself heard. “Rather than reading off a list, why not memorize it and say it, well prepared, when the time comes?”
> 
> Akashi shot him a look, about to retort, when Kuroko butted in.
> 
> “Akashi-kun, there’s something called practicing in front of a mirror.”
> 
> “If that’s something you do, then it’s no wonder no one else can see you - you let your mirror absorb your true soul.” Murasakibara piped up sagely, albeit around a mouthful of chocolate marshmallows.
> 
> There was a tension filled silence for a long moment.
> 
> “Anyway, s'not like a smarmy piece of paper’s gonna help you any.” Aomine muttered. “You and your Shakespearean romanticisms.”
> 
> “I’m fairly surprised you even know the definitions of those words, and downright stunned that you formed a sentence with them and somehow made them work for you.” Akashi flapped a hand at the Touou ace dismissively. “Is my jaw hitting the floor or what?”
> 
> Flipping him two choice fingers, Aomine shifted in his seat. “I make everything work for me. And yeah, fuck you too.”
> 
> “He said a bad word.” Murasakibara mumbled around a mouthful of two caramel bars, a handful of Skittles and an orange wafer.
> 
> Akashi rolled his eyes.
> 
> “Back to the matter at hand.” Midorima leaned back in his chair, wincing as it creaked significantly louder than the haunted house recording he had made during Teiko days. “Come up with something better, Akashi.”
> 
> “Like you could.” Kuroko’s voice floated from somewhere around Aomine’s elbow.
> 
> Akashi’s eyes narrowed into annoyed slits. “And you could do better?”
> 
> Aomine glared back, clearly mistaking Akashi’s challenge directed toward him. “Obviously, cunt.”
> 
> “Heh!” Midorima almost cracked a smile. “Don’t make me laugh. My horoscope said it’ll be a waste to spend my breath on idiots.”
> 
> Murasakibara spat out his third lollipop. It was cherry cola flavored. “Who you callin’ an idiot, idiot?”
> 
> “A vast majority of lesser beings are generally idiots.” Akashi taunted, eyes locked on Aomine’s.
> 
> “At least I don’t talk like there’s a nine inch cock up my ass.” Aomine responded smoothly.
> 
> Everyone endured another dreaded moment of hair raising silence.
> 
> “Then why don’t you tell us what you’d like to say to him?” Akashi finally said with a thin smile.
> 
> "Hell yeah!" Aomine clamped down on the bait. “I’ll walk right up, squeeze his ass, and get real close to him and say…”
> 
> He trailed off, biting his lower lip.
> 
> “Out with it!” Akashi barked, clearly having lost his patience approximately twelve minutes into this ragged conversation.
> 
> “I haven’t thought of what to say yet.” Aomine admitted, cheeks pink.
> 
> “Why the fuck are you blushing?” Murasakibara inched away, spreading out his candy wrappers between them so he wouldn’t catch whatever Aomine had.
> 
> “Idiot.” Midorima concluded.
> 
> “Yeah?” Aomine growled, embarrassed. “What would you do then, Glasses?”
> 
> “I’d treat him with due respect, from afar.” Midorima retorted.
> 
> “Cause you’re an authentic male pussy.” Kuroko replied, his expression stoic.
> 
> He halfheartedly returned Aomine’s enthusiastic fistbump.
> 
> “Well, what would _you_ say then?” Murasakibara asked, probably genuinely curious.
> 
> “I’d definitely ask him out.” Kuroko nodded. “A nice place somewhere, just us two. Hold hands. Call him baby.”
> 
> Everyone else but Midorima burst out laughing.
> 
> “I…I was going to do something like that.” The Shuutoku ace stammered out.
> 
> “Sick minds think alike.” Aomine wheezed, and slapped high fives with a giggly Akashi.
> 
> Kuroko unleashed his irritation in the form of a punch to Aomine’s right rib, causing the Touou ace to keel over.
> 
> “I’ll just give him a lot of candy and let him figure out I like him.” Murasakibara shrugged. “S'not like he doesn’t already know I like him, anyways.”
> 
> Having recovered from the pain of his injury, Aomine pulled Kuroko into a headlock.
> 
> “You’re all idiots.” Aomine declared in a wheeze.
> 
> “So, has the biggest idiot figured out what he’s going to say?” Akashi sneered, exchanging triumphant glances with Midorima.
> 
> “Yeh.”
> 
> Another silence ensued.
> 
> “Get on with it.” Murasakibara chided. “I’ve got candy to buy.”
> 
> “Quit diddling, Daiki!” Akashi snarled, knuckles cracking as he balled his small hands into fists.
> 
> “Let go of me.” Kuroko bleated. “Your pits smell like you haven’t washed in six months while cycling all day and congregating in a hall of like-scented backpackers from foreign countries who have never been exposed to this much sun.”
> 
> Murasakibara heaved a sigh. “Just say it, god.”
> 
> “Say what?” Blond hair came into view as Kise popped up on his sneaky panther-quiet feet. “Why’s everyone in Kagami-chii’s living room?”
> 
> There were collective gasps all around before hands flurried to clean and conceal the mess of garbage between them, consisting of candy wrappers, chocolate wrappers, wafer plastics and Akashi’s neatly handwritten notes.
> 
> “Ahh! Uh. Well.” Akashi said as he promptly scooped some tattered notes under his legs and sat on them. “Hmm.”
> 
> “I-we…” Murasakibara trailed off, before deciding it was best to remain silent, and stuffed a Mars bar into his mouth.
> 
> Midorima gaped at Kise like a goldfish before averting his gaze. Kuroko evaporated into the humid air from the heat of everyone’s panic.
> 
> Aomine let his arms fall to his sides, remaining the only outwardly calm human in the room. Internally, his heart was hammering against his ribs, pumping blood into his veins like a clown filling up balloons, surrounded by a sea of irate, impatient humans under the age of nine.
> 
> “Say what?” Kise repeated, confused.
> 
> His amber eyes locked gazes with Aomine’s blue ones.
> 
> “…you’re mine.” Aomine said quietly.
> 
> The living room froze as time stood still in awkward, asylum wall padded silence.
> 
> ———
> 
> Alternate ending: everyone except Kise lunges at Aomine, spewing curses and flailing fists.
> 
> Extra alternate ending from Kagami's secret diary: Today, I returned from grocery shopping to find my living room in complete disarray - candy wrappers (goddammit, Murasakibara!) and neatly written notes (gah, Akashi's!) scattered over my floor with a guy's sweaty hoodie (fucking hell, Aomine!) half on my couch, and half in the dipping sauce from Texas Chicken on the carpet. Why did I move to Tokyo?


End file.
